When I was a little girl, I was a HUGE daddy’s girl. My dad was my hero, my best friend, my whole world. I thought he was the coolest person around!
Anything my dad did, I wanted to do too. If my dad was going somewhere, the store, the gas station, even work, I was right there tagging along.
We had all of these little rituals. Everyday when he got home from work, I was right there with him. Playing Nintendo, watching our shows, just hanging out. Every Saturday we got outside together and hand washed the car. Every Sunday just me and him got to leave church a few minutes early (which to a little kid is a HUGE deal), so that we could make it home in time for the Sunday football game.
I have so many wonderful memories of me and my father together. I thought I had the best dad in the world! My dad was the cool dad in the neighborhood.
He was always there to make sure that I had the coolest school projects out of all of the other school kids. He always made sure I had the coolest birthday parties. He was the coach of every sports team I was ever on!
He was who I looked up to. I knew that no matter what, I could always count on my dad.
Or so I thought..
The year I turned 11, everything changed. All of a sudden, he was never home. He wasn’t there for anything. He was slowly becoming a completely different person, until he was someone that I didn’t know anymore.
I still remember the night it all came crashing down. He was filing for a divorce. Mom was crying. My baby sisters were cuddled in my bed, scared of what was happening. But, I was old enough to know what it all meant!
When he sat us all down to break the news, he promised that nothing would change. He promised that he would still be the dad that he had always been. He promised that nothing would ever change the love he had for us and that we would still spend just as much time with him. That we would still and always be his number ones and always be taken care of. He made promises that he couldn’t keep.
Looking back, I think he knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep those promises, not that he would ever admit that.
Two weeks later, we met his new girlfriend. She is now our step mom.
A few years later, it all came out. He had been cheating on my mom for almost a year before finally filing for divorce.
Long story short, everything changed. Slowly, but surely he created a whole new life and family. We were not a part of that family. We ARE not a part of their family.
Sure, we see them on Christmas and occasionally birthdays, but only because they feel obligated.
His choices have forever changed my outlook on life. I used to believe in fairy tales, but what little girl doesn’t. But now, even being in a solid and wonderful relationship with an amazing man, I constantly live in the fear of him one day leaving for someone younger and newer! I no longer believe in forever. Now, I can only hope for forever. I can only hope that my relationship will make it until the end. But, it is hard to hope when the one man who is supposed to show you what to expect, how a woman should be treated and what true love really is, let you down.
I can only pray that now, my man will change my outlook again. Change it for the better. Show me that fairy tales do exist.. And so far he is doing an outstanding job at it, because that is true love!